It's him, saying bye
by It'smmeeee
Summary: The Season 2 finale from a certain time lord's eyes.


** Hey, guys :( I'm currently an emotional wreck, and it's all thanks to BBC and Dr. Who. I just finished Season 2… yeah. Like I said, emotional wreck. Anyway, so, one of my friends also watches Dr. Who and made me promise to write a Dr. Who drabble. She's going to kill me when she reads this, but… I'm emotionally unstable right now, ok? I can't be expected to write happy stuff. Blame BBC, not me. **

**Disclaimer: Trust me, if I owned anything, the season would have ended WAY differently! **

_**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING ONE-SHOT CONTAINS MAJOR SEASON 2 SPOILERS! ALSO, IT MIGHT MAKE YOU CRY. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. **_

_Goodbye _

The Doctor's POV

I've always been decently good at dismissing human-like emotions. Sure, some things get to me, but not very many things (and considering what I've been through, I'm quite proud of that.) But I'll admit that when Rose vanished- snatched away, taken to a parallel world where I could never get her back- my emotions spiraled out of control.

_She's still alive_- that was my first thought. Then, _she's gone._ I was being selfish, I knew that- she was with her family, and alive, safe; and here I was, frozen because she was gone.

The kindest thing to do, and probably the _right _thing to do would be to let her go without attempting to contact her. I'd let others go before, so maybe I could have done it. It probably would have helped her "ease in" to her new life; seeing me again would have just stirred up unnecessary issues.

_Humans need goodbyes, _I thought, hurrying back to the Tardis (I knew I didn't have much time.) _Rose is human; therefore, a goodbye would be good for her. _

_You're not doing this for Rose, _scoffed a small part of me. _You're being selfish again. You're doing this for you. _I ignored that small part of me.

-Line Break-

"Where are you?" The question was straightforward, and I was thankful for that. Facts I could list; keeping a tight hold on my emotions, however, might be harder.

"Inside the Tardis," I answered, my voice responding automatically while my mind tried to memorize every detail of what would certainly be the last time I'd ever see her. "There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close." I took a deep breath before continuing.

"It takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a supernova, burning up a sun… just to say goodbye." My voice was uncharacteristically unsteady, and I hoped she understood what I was trying to tell her; that this was important to me. That I needed this goodbye- maybe more than she did.

"You look like a ghost," Rose said, shaking her head slightly, obviously upset.

"Hold on," I muttered, grabbing my sonic screwdriver. Adjusting the setting, I strengthened the signal. Her image became clearer (just as I hoped mine had) and she took a step forward hesitantly.

"Can I touc-" She began, but I cut her off.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, meaning every word. _I'm so, so sorry. _"I'm still just an image." _I couldn't protect you._ "No touch." _I failed you. _

"Can't you come through quickly?" She asked, her voice like glass; near breaking.

"No," I said, whishing more than anything that I could. "The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse." I said it almost more to myself then to her; reminding myself what was at stake, why I had to stay put.

"So?" Rose asked, and I felt a sad smile etch itself on my face. Even in a parallel universe, the one place I could never go, she was still the same old stubborn Rose Tyler. She looked away, biting her lip like she was trying not to cry.

"Where are we?" I asked suddenly, both to distract her and for my own curiosity. "Where did the gap come out?"

"We're in Norway," Rose said, facing me again.

"Norway, right," I echoed. I could hear Rose continuing, giving me a more exact location, but it was like listening to someone talk underwater. I'd returned to memorizing every detail of everything I could; I didn't ever want to forget anything about her.

My attention was snapped back to her words when she said something that sounded suspiciously like "Dalek."

"_Dalek?!_" I repeated, horrified. Maybe she wasn't as safe as I'd thought.

"Darlink," Rose corrected, offering me a small smile. "It's Norwegian for 'bad.' It translates to 'Bad Wolf Bay'." She rolled her eyes with a half-hearted laugh, the irony of it all almost providing some relief from the situation at hand- almost.

"How long have you got?" She continued, sounding dangerously close to tears.

"About two minutes," I admitted, hating to see her like this and hating to admit how little time we had. Two minutes wasn't nearly enough, and we both knew it.

"I don't even know what to say," Rose laughed, the unshed tears all too clear in her laugh. It was the laugh of a person who didn't know whether to laugh, or cry, or do both. I couldn't help it- I laughed, too. Only Rose Tyler would choose to laugh instead of crying in our situation.

"You've still got Mr. Mickey, then," I offered as some small form of comfort, nodding to where the said man, as well as Rose's family, stood at the edge of the bay.

"There's five of us now," Rose told me, sparing a glance behind her. "Mom, Dad, Mickey… and the baby."

"You're not-" I began, praying that she wasn't referring to what it sounded like she was referring to.

"No," Rose laughed- a real laugh this time- shaking her head. "It's mom. Three months, and little Tyler's on the way."

"And what about you?" I asked, knowing the question couldn't be avoided.

"Yeah, I'm back working in the shop," she told me, looking away again.

"Oh. Good for you," I said, although the idea didn't sit well with me. _Rose Tyler_… working in a _shop_? After all she'd seen, all she'd been through?

"Shut up," Rose grinned, knowing I was lying. "No, I'm not. See, the Torchwood on this planet is open for business. I think I know a thing or two about aliens."

"Rose Tyler, defender of the earth," I declared, beyond proud of her. Now _that _was more like it! She smiled, but the smile faded, our limited time making it hard to look on the bright side of things.

"You're dead," I blurted out. I don't even know why I told her; I wasn't originally going to. I suppose she had a right to know, but hearing that you're dead isn't easy. "Back home," I added, and Rose's face crumpled as she struggled not to cry.

"So many people died that day, and you'd gone missing…" I continued, wanting to stop and at the same time unable to. "You're on the list of the dead." Rose nodded and looked down, covering her mouth with her hand and blinking back tears that threatened to fall.

"Here you are," I said, trying once again to offer some comfort. "Living a life, day after day." Pride once again leaked into my voice- no matter what people thought, Rose _hadn't _been beaten in the war. She was alive, and well, and uninjured, and… in the once place I couldn't go. The smile fell from my face.

"One adventure I can never have," I said softly. She took a shaky breath, but faced me.

"Am I ever going to see you again?" Rose's voice finally broke at the words, choked with tears. Once again I was reminded of glass shattering, falling into a million broken pieces.

"You can't," I told her, as gently as I could. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to say in my life.

"What are you going to do?" She asked me, and her expression and broken voice expressed her pain more clearly than words ever could.

"Eh, go back to the Tardis. Same old life, last of the Timelords," I said lightly, hiding how much the idea hurt. I didn't want to be alone- not again. I wanted… _stop it. You can't, she's gone. You're going to be alone again… whether you like it or not. _

"On your own?" Rose choked out, as if reading my mind. I just nodded. I didn't trust my voice enough to say yes. Now it was my turn to avert my gaze- Rose had always been able to read me like a book. She didn't need to know how much this was hurting me, too.

"I-" Rose began, but she broke off, holding back a sob and trying to compose herself.

"I love you," she managed, clearly pronouncing every word despite her tear-choked voice. A sob escaped her, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying hard to stop.

"Quite alright," I said gently, and I could feel my tight grip on my emotions weakening. I couldn't do this. _Don't say it. You're only going to make it harder for her. Don't! _"And I suppose…" _Stop! _"If it's my last chance to say it…" _No! _My voice betrayed me by breaking, but I no longer cared. "Rose Tyler, I-" And then, just like that, she was gone.

She was really gone. I was alone, back in my Tardis, without her for the first time in what felt like forever. _She was gone… forever. _One tear found its way down my face, then another, and soon I was crying.

I'd lost her. I'd really lost her.

_I'm so, so sorry, Rose Tyler. _

_I love you, too. _

**If you didn't cry reading that, you are way stronger than me, because I cried, and I wrote the dang thing. So… review, please? Until next time! **


End file.
